Missing…And Nothing More

A translation of my previous post in Portuguese:


A very special word for me.  Because I can’t say this word in English.  And because it reminds me of Pablo, Portuguese, and the people of Salvador.

In English, I would say that saudades means that I am feeling the lack of something.  But, it is more than this.  When I say “saudades”, I am recognizing the difference that exists without something.  But also, I am remembering.  I am remembering what makes this difference.  That is to say, when I am missing something, I not only have the lack, but also, the memory.  This is the beauty of the word.  The beauty of it’s meaning.

That’s why it is not so terrible to be missing my Brazil.  My experience there.  Of course, when I am dying of cold in the middle of the snow and ice here in Detroit, I am feeling the lack of the heat and of the eternal sun of Salvador.  However, I warm-up as I remember my time spent sprawled on the brown beach beside the sea.

When I remember more, my heart fills full of the happiness of the kids in the community project Siloé, where I taught English and where I was taught in the slang that is the true language of Salvador.

I arrived here two weeks ago, and I already I miss so much the people, places, and other things that I got to know during my time in Brazil.  Therefore, it is impossible to list off everything for you.  But I am going to start and continue each time that I feel the need to share more of the differences and memories that connect my experiences that make up life.

Thus, to start:

I miss my host mom, Aurea, such a caring and beautiful woman.

I miss the three bananas, two guavas, and one papaya that I ate every day.

I thought that I would never say this, but, I miss rice and beans.

I miss the community of IBAM (Metropolitan Baptist Church) and the hugs there.

I miss EBEC, the English school, where the CIEE study abroad program was located.

I miss the smile of Pericles, the doorman at EBEC.

I miss the way in which Pericles always would say: “It is such a delight!” about everything in Salvador.